September open forum
Naturism under fire, and 'the weight of the male gaze'
First, my heart goes out to the family and friends of Stephanie Menard, 73, and Daniel Menard, 79, believed to have been killed by a fellow naturist at the Olive Dell Ranch resort in southern California. Reports say Michael Sparks, 62, has been charged in their deaths.
No doubt, the California naturism community is mourning their loss, as are other naturists in the global community. My condolences to all . . .
Naturism — and social nudity in general — has taken some hits this summer. I’d like to point to a few articles for possible discussion here.
Toronto Pride aftermath
First up is an opinion piece by Stéphane Deschênes in the Toronto Star, published Aug. 16 after a “viral misleading social media post about children and skinny dipping” linked to the presence of nudists at Toronto Pride and the promotion of their group GTA Skinny Dippers (which we discussed in a July post here: Promoting naturism at Pride?).
As many of you know, Stéphane and his wife own the Bare Oaks Family Naturist Park in Ontario (Canada), which found itself the target of the same crowd who condemned GTA Skinny Dippers. Bare Oaks has been slandered and has received “violent online threats,” Stéphane reports.
“Thanks to internet trolls, our park and the naturist community as a whole are being slandered as enabling child predators (and worse),” Stéphane writes.
His piece states what every member here knows: that naturism is good for kids. And he points out that they are always accompanied by adults at his resort, and then says this:
“Finally, to those who scoff at the notion of any public nudity when it comes to children because somehow it will put them at risk, I say this: It is clear that being dressed has not kept children safe. Those who prey on children are attracted to any place where children can be found and in particular to situations where they can be alone with a child.”
Speaking objectively (and as the devil’s advocate, which editors must be at times): Yes, it would be difficult (but not impossible) for predators to harm kids who are with their parents in naturism settings. But what about voyeurism or longing (or lustful) gazes? Every woman (and perhaps many males, too) in the world can tell you about the unwanted “male gazes” they experience from childhood onward and the harm they can cause. Can you blame any mom for fearing it could happen to their kids in social nudism settings?
The male gaze
“The weight of the male gaze” is not something I’ve seen discussed much in naturism reports on mainstream media sites. But I bet it is one of the primary reasons men tend to vastly outnumber women in social nudism organizations: many women are afraid they will be subject to it, especially young women.
The phrase quoted to lead the paragraph above comes from an article by Thelma Bacon on another good media site, The Conversation, about topless sunbathing in Europe being “a very daring act.” Although she is not writing about organized naturism, I think some of her points are relevant to how naturism may be perceived — or feared — by some.
“According to a 2021 survey of over 1,500 women, while 43% of women said they regularly went topless on the beach in 1984, only 19% did so in 2019,” the report says.
So why the drop in numbers? Among the reasons: Thirty-five percent of the respondents cited “men’s lustful stares.”
“The gaze of others is all the more important when the question is asked of people under 25, with medical risks (i.e. skin cancer) only coming in fourth place behind the gaze of men (59%), fear of being attacked (51%) and fear of negative criticism of their appearance (41%),” writes Bacon.
Bacon concludes with this: “Although toplessness at the beach may encourage a desexualisation of nudity, this desexualisation is not systematic and requires a learning process on the part of both practitioners and observers.”
More harmful to women?
Other concerns were expressed in a scathing description of naturism by one Professor Sheila Jeffreys at a London conference presented by Women’s Declaration International on women’s rights. Sheila feels that naturism is actually becoming more harmful to women, and she sees the “normalization of naturism” as giving men the opportunity “to engage in their sexual perversions in a socially acceptable fashion — one is flashing, or indecent exposure, the other is voyeurism, or scopophilia.”
She points to the “demands to be accepted in public spaces,” and goes on to say this:
“Yet men’s sexual violence against women makes it foolish to imagine that women’s nakedness in front of men could be a safe and comfortable practice. There is some evidence that women suffer sexual harassment from men if they try to take part in [naturism]. In France, women are becoming more likely to avoid nudist beaches because of fears for their safety.”
We know different, but . . .
As you can see, it’s all about perception: Many outside the naturism community have a difficult time believing a largely male-dominated pastime/lifestyle can desexualize nudity, let alone suppress the “male gaze.”
In reality, I’m guessing that a large percentage of males and females who identify as naturists have pretty much mastered the desexualization of social nudism, and they are unlikely to make anyone feel uncomfortable with lustful gazes. You know that. I know that.
But as the pendulum swings more to the conservative side in Western nations, I think naturism organizations, publications and educators need to put more emphasis on allaying those particular concerns — and making sure their own members are up to speed on them.
As reporter Bacon wrote: “Desexualisation … requires a learning process on the part of both practitioners and observers.”
As for the “male gaze,” that is totally on the guys.
As always, the monthly open forums are for members to talk about all things related to social nudism and naturism. You don’t have to pick up on any of my comments above. Feel free to introduce new subjects here.
And a warm welcome to new members! Please join in the conversations here. And if you are reading this in your email account, post your comment by clicking on the “leave a comment” tab below or going to our website (don’t reply to the email).
Enjoy these last days of summer!
I think the male "gaze" is entirely natural. So is the female gaze. A person naturally gazes at that which they consider desirable or beautiful. Not to gaze at a particular subject when in most environments is something one learns. There are also times and places where gazing is entirely appropriate and knowing the difference is also part of the lesson.. Being a cultural thing, not everyone learns the same lesson.
It is not the only important lesson we don't always learn. The difficulty is compounded by people who want to be gazed at.
Thanks for this thoughtful examination of the recent news. The Menard situation is deeply sad and unsettling, especially for those in naturist communities who understand the strong sense of community and can perhaps better empathize with the unimaginable grief this series of events has inflicted on everyone involved.
I understand that GTA Skinny Dippers are struggling in the aftermath of the media attacks on their group, which is truly unfortunate. While I suspect that Bare Oaks will fare well, particularly due to Stéphane’s PR savvy and refusal to bow to threats, smaller groups might easily buckle under the pressure. I hope the GTA community can weather the storm and emerge stronger in the end.
I appreciate your comments about the male gaze. Many people don’t fully grasp this concept or how it affects various aspects of our culture, particularly in media, advertising, and art. It has significantly shaped cultural norms and the double standards women face, which I believe plays a major role in the gender disparities often discussed within the naturist scene. This influence likely deters some women from participating while, in my (perhaps unpopular) opinion, it likely encourages more men to try or join nudism, at least initially. Many in naturism understand that it’s about rejecting these societal influences and reclaiming agency over our own nakedness, but naturally, not everyone does. Who hasn’t heard discouraging comments from less enlightened nudists in these settings? Fortunately, it’s less common than it could be, but it still happens.